– I am sitting here a bit giddy from lack of sleep. I was up all night and headed early to the hospital this morning for a thyroid ultrasound and blood work. There is nothing wrong with me that I can’t handle, and yet all of a sudden I just feel old. Like time is rushing by so fast. I keep thinking about how about 15 years ago I could stay up all night and run in the morning without feeling tired. These days I feel tired a lot.
– Is it something that happens when you hit forty? I just don’t know. I do know that I have gray hairs coming in. I know for the first time ever I am taking medications that I may have to take for the rest of my life. Probably the worst thing is the shoe inserts. I always associated those with “older” people. I keep telling myself to get over it. I want to just move on.
– Today I just feel confused. I have always been one of those people that truly believe age is only a number. I never put a lot of stock in youth, and the beauty that comes with it. I always found beauty in wisdom. You probably have seen her or him; the person that has the knowing smile and the eyes that seem to have seen it all. The one you can say anything to, and you know you will be heard and validated. I want to be that person. I just have to keep reminding myself that with pain comes empathy, and empathy leads to wisdom. It is our struggles and failures that teach us the most. Who knows, maybe shoe inserts are teaching me a valuable lesson after all. Are my eyes sparkling yet?