—I went back to teach today after a five day weekend (thank you snowy weather). Every time I go back after a long break, I always feel that small pit in my stomach that reminds me that i hate the idea of leaving my kids. Baileigh just turned three and Angel is 14 months. I am about to lose their part-time nanny and I feel like my world has been turned upside down as I search for a replacement.
—In the morning my little ones say goodbye to me with huge smiles on their faces and they greet me with big needy smiles when I get home. I know in my heart my kids are doing just fine with my absence. I work because I enjoy my job and feel like I am making a contribution to society but I also have bills that must be paid and that leaves me without a lot of choice. For many years I played the “I wish I would have done it differently and known better” game but that honestly did not get me anywhere and I would not exchange the beautiful family I have today for more financial security. We get by and most of the time it is fantastic.
That brings me to my thought of today….
—Recently a friend told me about a horrifying experience with a child care provider. His child suffered from severe abuse at the hands of a caregiver and almost passed away. Since then, his wife has quit her job and they moved closer to family. I envy that she stays at home but I also know the two are making many sacrifices to make this possible.
—I am very lucky that my husband is willing to work an opposite schedule so that we only need child care for six hours a week. Many days we do not feel we see enough of each other, but it also gives us something to truly look forward to. Our time together is sacred and we make the most of it. We both are willing to leave our home because we know that our children are safe and secure but as I transition from one dependable nanny to the unknown in some ways I feel like my world is being turned upside down.
—Great child care workers are invaluable and they really help keep parents sane. I can only function so long as I know my children are okay. The most important thing I have learned as a working mother is that in my absence I must believe my kids are being taken care of at all times in a way that is consistent with how I would parent. Without that peace of mind, nothing else really seems to matter. As I narrow down my nanny replacements I will not settle for anything else.